Our Brand of Love
by Athlete Girl
Summary: Beth mends a broken heart by leaving the prison with her family. This story will be heavy on Meth and Caryl love and smut, if you don't like, please don't read. I do not own anything remotely connected to The Walking Dead 'cause if I did Merle would still be loud and proud.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm sitting in the hospital with my husband who is getting a transfusion because his chemo got cancelled today (long story) and one thing I know in my heart is: I have no business starting another story, but that's what I'm doing. Apologies to anyone waiting for updates on other stories, this one's been trying to bust out of my head and my shrink told me to start writing again so…here we go with a new one. I hope to write it in it's entirety this next week when I'm on a TROPICAL VACATION!**

**BTW – I've noticed that Caryl writers aren't posting. Ladies, let me tell you that I've finally caught up with all the episodes and (a) I've seen nothing that suggests that Daryl has romantic feelings towards Beth and (b) Melissa McBride has without a doubt established Carol as a major character on this show. She was tremendous in ****The Grove**** so CHEER UP! WRITE SOME ROMANCE LADIES BECAUSE I NEED SOMETHING TO READ! For God's sake, spring has sprung and with it should come lazy days of hormonal fanfiction reading!**

**And even if AMC pairs Daryl with Beth? Fuck 'em. Show them you are better writers than they are! My God, the few Meth writers out there (like me) have had to use our imaginations for a whole year and we're still writing! **

Egress

"You ready Bethie?" asked Hershel with a concerned look in his eye. Beth met his eyes and he saw the tears that she refused to let fall. He knew she was raw and hurting. "Yeah Daddy," she said firmly, walking through the door of the prison for the last time. Hershel's brow furrowed and he looked at Maggie. "Is she going to leave it like this?" he asked. Maggie grimaced as pain for her sister crossed her face. "Her choice," Maggie replied as she passed him to follow Beth to the caravan that waited outside the gates. Hershel took a long look around the kitchen where his apocalypse family shared their meals, the common room where they gathered at night, and the cells where they laid their heads. He nodded goodbye to his and to the one shared by Maggie and Glen, then his eyes raised to the perch where Beth had moved in with Merle. He shook his head, sighed and looked at the floor for a moment, then turned to rejoin his daughters. Once they bid their final farewells, they'd be on their way to a new future.

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It had gone on for a week and Daryl had had enough. The Governor was breathing down their necks, two of their best fighters were gone and the best fighter they had left had his head up his ass. It was time for a reality check. He growled as he looked at Merle who was stabbing walkers through the fence with his prosthetic. Merle was goading them, running his mouth and egging them on. He had two weeks of scruff on his face and with the exception of being caught in a rainstorm the week before hadn't showered since the Greenes had left. He was perpetually hungover and the smell of stale cigarettes, vomit and sweat that permeated his clothes should have taken half the walkers out on its own. Daryl knew that as soon as Merle tired from the fun at the fence he'd be back in the garage sucking down the stash of moonshine they'd cached. Rick was watching Merle from the tower, his displeasure almost palpable in the stifling afternoon heat.

Daryl yelled for Merle who, lost in his own world, paid no heed. Finally Daryl stalked up to Merle, grabbed his blade arm and yelled in his face. "The FUCK Merle, you deaf now?" Merle swung tiredly at him with his good arm and Daryl easily deflected it, knocking Merle to the ground. "The fuck's the matter with ya?" Daryl asked. Merle shielded his eyes from the sun with his forearm and laughed derisively. "Just havin' a little fun brotha. Gettin' fresh air, a lil exercise, hangin with Friendly," he said, tipping his head to look back at Rick while flipping him off. Rick shook his head in disbelief and Merle laughed, "Friendly fucker." His laugh ended in a ragged coughing fit.

Daryl sneered down at Merle in disgust. "Ya even know what ya smell like Merle? When's the last time ya washed? Changed ya clothes? Ya plannin' on livin on moonshine and cigarettes?" Merle sat up on his bent elbows and smiled at Daryl. "That's a fine fuckin' idea son. Glad I thought of it. Speaking of…," he trailed to dig in his pocket for a crumpled pack of Marlboros. "Fuckin' hate menthols," he groused as he sat up and lit a wooden match on his boot heel. "Want one Ballerina?"

Daryl ignored the dig at the nickname Merle had christened him with long ago, pushing back the memories of "Darylina Ballerina" and all the improvised song lyrics that had arisen from it over the years. He pointed down at Merle's face. "Ya finally happy Merle?" he seethed. "Ya break everything ya touch, you know that? Always have. Aint never gave a shit 'bout nothin' but yaself. And anybody stupid enough ta get close to ya gets dragged down with ya. Even at the end of the world."

Merle's good humor instantly disappeared. He clenched the cigarette between his teeth and stood up to glare down into Daryl's eyes. Daryl's were sparking with anger but Merle's were empty and devoid of emotion. "Ya got somethin' ta say to me?" Merle rasped, his voice steeled barely above a whisper. His chest bumped Daryl's and Daryl knew that Merle's hair trigger temper had been pulled. "Yeah," said Daryl, sidling in anticipation of the blows that were sure to come. "Ya fucked up Merle and this time ya payin' for it. Beth was the best thing that ever happened to ya but this time when ya pissed on the good, YER the one that got broke. And now that ya gotta live with the hurt ya been dishin out ya whole fucked up life, ya fallin' apart," he spat. Merle's lip curled and minutes later they were both in the dirt.

When Daryl came in hours later with a bloody face Carol moved subtly to gather the first aid supplies and fix him up in their cell. She knew better than to berate him so she waited patiently for him to talk. When an equally bloody Merle stalked past their cell to get to his she moved to pick up the supplies but Daryl stopped her. "Simple-minded son of a bitch don't need nothin'," he said curtly and she sighed as she smoothed his sweaty hair from his forehead. Some days she'd rather face walkers than the angry brothers.

Daryl's face was buried in the back of her neck when Merle woke them at first light. Merle had shaved and was wearing clean clothes. "I'm goin' to find 'er," he said. Daryl blinked sleepily, glanced to make sure that Carol's chest was covered by the blanket, then asked, "If'n ya do, ya gonna go with 'er?" Merle studied him for a moment then nodded grimly. "If that's what she wants." Carol looked questioningly as Daryl sat up and ran his hand through his hair, then she looked at Merle who was standing with military straightness. "Then we've got some decisions to make," she said.

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Beth worked through the pain. She answered people when spoken to and tried to do her share of the driving and chores. She did her best to learn the names of the people in the caravan and to learn something about each of them. It seemed like they'd been traveling forever. Whenever she broke down she tried to hide it, tried to find a place to sob and hit trees. Maggie found her one evening and held her as she pulled at her hair and cried. "I hate what he did. I hate THIS Maggie! But I love him and miss him so much. I just want him. I'd do anything to see him. What have I done?" Maggie shushed her. "God shows us what's right Beth. The decision you made is what God wanted. He wants you to have a better life with someone else. When we get there you'll see honey. You'll see that there's someone better."

Beth took a deep breath and nodded. Maggie knew a lot more than she did about relationships and she had to trust her. She had to have faith in something to survive this pain. She could see that Hershel wanted to help her but she wasn't ready to talk about it to him yet. Maybe one day….one day she'd forget all about Merle Dixon.

**We're going to see some self-reliance in Beth in this story and as for Merle, he's going to get what's been coming to him for a long time. This story WILL contain Caryl smut as well as Meth, so be patient Caryl'ers. AG**


	2. Chapter 2 - Hemorrhage

**I just posted Chapter 1 and decided since I'm sitting here watching blood drip through a tube I might as well write another right? Part of this story is pulled from an unfortunate event from my own life during my younger and dumber years.**

**Hemorrhage**

The group waited on pins and needles for the return of the negotiation party from Woodbury. Rick, Daryl and Merle had been gone for two days in their attempt to establish a working relationship with the Governor. Tensions were high while the three strongest fighters were gone but there was no sign of Woodbury people around the prison and as the sun set behind the trees their truck pulled into the gates. When Daryl got out he walked swiftly to Carol who studied his face. "Fucker's crazy," he muttered to her as Rick announced that he was calling a meeting in the common room. Meanwhile Beth met Merle at the truck and leapt into his arms, squeezing him as hard as she could with both arms. "Tryin' ta choke me now?" he grumbled and she giggled and kissed him on the mouth. "Missed you," she said when they broke.

The group clustered around the tables in the kitchen while Rick gave them the grim message that it was impossible to trust the Governor or anyone from Woodbury. Rick assured them that he had bought some time but that they would have to make the decision to attack or be ready to defend or flee within the near future. Beth listened attentively while inching her hand towards Merle's leg and then his crotch. When she finally reached it he covered her hand with his and pressed it into his hard on, shooting her a sideways leer. Just then she saw Carol look at Merle sharply and Daryl bending his head to whisper to her. _Oops, I got caught_ thought Beth, and she giggled under her breath as moved her hand away.

During the ensuing discussion Hershel said, "Merle worked for the governor, he knows the operation and their capabilities intimately. He also has military experience. Merle, what do you suggest?" All eyes turned to Merle and he outlined the Governor's operation, finally making the point that the only chance the prison group had against the Governor's men was to capitalize on the element of surprise, either on offense or defense. Beth sat next to him, quietly proud that her man was accepted as a valued member of the group. She didn't see the flickers of surprise and horror that crossed many faces, most notably those of Maggie and Glenn - or the way that Maggie narrowed her eyes at Merle, shooting him daggers of hate.

"How much time do we have?" asked Michonne from the corner. Rick looked around the room. "I'm meeting him again in two weeks. I don't think he'll strike before that. You all know the situation now, in three days time I want a group decision on our plan of action." People began to disperse in groups, including Maggie who was dragged away by Glenn, and Merle jumped up suddenly. "Gotta get my shit out of the truck, clean my guns. Go on ta bed without me and I'll be there directly." Beth nodded, a little surprised. "OK," she said, slowly rising. She admired his tight rear in his khaki cargo pants as he walked away, then Rick caught him and pulled him off to the side. She salivated as she checked out his broad chest, the top of his white wifebeater standing out against his black button up shirt. He usually didn't button his shirts but she decided he looked good anyway, even with that dirt smudge on his neck.

She frowned. Merle's clothes were clean, he obviously hadn't done any dirty work today. Why would he have dirt on his neck? She walked closer and saw the top of another smudge peeking out from the top of the wifebeater. The smudges were black but there were no dirt marks on his shirt. Rick finished his conversation with Merle and walked away and Beth took the opportunity to walk within a few steps of him. And when her brain registered what her eyes were seeing, her heart stopped. Merle turned to look at her and she saw the black hickeys, one low on his neck near the collar of his buttoned shirt, the other peeking out from the top of his wifebeater. Her breath stilled in her lungs as her brain reeled in disbelief.

Merle stiffened and his eyes became wary as the realization flowed across Beth's face in stages – questioning, disbelief, horror and shock. "Merle?" she gasped, her hand moving to her mouth. He swallowed and clenched his teeth in silence. "What are those?" she croaked, her eyes confused and fearful. "Aint nothin'," he growled. Her eyes searched his face pleadingly. "Who?" she gasped, not finding the air in her lungs to say any more. His eyes flickered. "Nobody. Ain't nothin'," he muttered.

A sob rose out of Beth's throat. "Don't lie to me," she said through clenched teeth. Merle's eyes flickered to the ground then back up to her and his cheek twitched. "Weren't nothin'. Smoked a joint with one of the guys from Woodbury, some kinda harsh shit. Started drinkin' some whiskey at the bar there and saw somebody I used ta know. She wanted some company but I told her I wasn't interested." He stopped and his eyes dropped again. Beth's lungs filled and she began to breathe. "You told her no Merle?" she asked, her voice rattling in her throat. "It doesn't look like your mouth was doing much talking."

Merle's nostrils flared and his lip curled. He remembered Karen sidling up to him and running her hand up his leg, and a little flirty talk, some harmless makin' out while he was buzzin' good. But after that it was all black. He had a feeling that Daryl knew how it ended because Merle had a sore lump on the back of his head and Daryl had glowered at Merle wordlessly all day today in the truck. This morning when Merle had seen the hickeys in the mirror he felt a stab of pain in his chest and recognized an emotion he hadn't had since he was a teenager: guilt. Chilled, he stared at his face in the mirror then buttoned up his shirt.

His reaction was hard-wired into him. "You don't go bustin' my fuckin' balls," Merle shot defensively. "She pushed up on me and I didn't do nothin'," he growled. Beth shook and wrapped her arms around her sides. "She had her mouth all over you and you say it's nothing?" she asked, the pitch of voice rising uncontrollably. "When we started this you said there would be no one else for either of us. You promised Merle." Merle's eyes hardened to flinted steel and he raised his finger to her face. "I told ya stupid ass I didn't fuck 'er," he blew up. "And I told ya clear as day werent none of that love shit was gonna happen tween you and me. THAT was the deal. I ain't playin' house with you little girl, that's what ya want go find some faggot bible banger to take up with."

There was a loud roaring in Beth's ears as the bottom fell out of her world. "I did agree to that," she said tremulously. "But I fell in love with you anyway. I can't help how I feel about you. I thought that maybe you were… loving me too. And….I can't believe you broke your promise Merle." She began to cry. Merle growled and began to pace erratically, the pain of his guilt and weakness building into uncontrollable fury. This was the mechanism that had protected Merle all of his life and he never needed it more than now. He began to pant with rage.

Beth brought a shaking hand to her face. "How could you Merle? All I wanted to do was make you happy," she sobbed, starting to fall apart. Merle turned on her and in the haze of his rage he saw every schoolteacher, every parole officer, every cop that had made him face the worthless shit he'd become. The flames of anger consumed him and he was lost. "You listen here little miss. Ain't no piece a pussy gonna tell Merle Dixon what ta do. My life was fine before you was in it, gonna be fine afterwards. Mebbe you jest need ta go on."

"Oh Merle," keened Beth wretchedly, hunching as her stomach twisted in pain. She heard the door slam and didn't need to look up to know Merle was gone. She fell to her knees and the next thing she knew Maggie and Glenn were helping her up to get her to her room. The next morning Merle and Daryl were gone, leaving word that they were out hunting.

And the following day, the caravan came.

**Yep, this happened to me. I was coming home to visit my parents and I let my ex-boyfriend know that my best friend and I would be in town, of course hoping that he and I could rekindle the awful relationship we had. We went out all night drinking and had a great time, and it wasn't until the wee hours of the morning when we were waiting in the car for him to get package liquor that I saw the hickeys on his neck. I turned to my friend and said, "Does he have hickeys on his neck?" and she said, "Everyone but you noticed them the minute he walked in the door tonight." I guess I must have been drowning in his eyes all night, eh? What a moron I am! But not so stupid as to go back to him!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Plan

**Here we are back again, after my true tale of romantic woe. Trust me if I put all my romantic flameouts together I'd have a best selling book! **

**The previous chapter was a flashback to show what happened to make Beth leave Merle. Thanks EnglishPoet18 for asking about that, from now on I'll specify if we're in current time or the past. This chapter is present time and includes a treasured memory of Carol's. Let's get on with our story shall we?**

**Plan**

***Present time***

Agreeing on a plan had been difficult. Merle was determined to leave as soon as possible to find Beth, whereas Daryl wanted to support Rick and the rest of the group by staying to fight the governor. Both brothers wanted Carol to stay at the prison until they found Beth because of Carol's pregnancy. She shook her head firmly. "No, I'm five months along now. I can move around, I can fight. In three months I won't be mobile and when the baby is born we'll be an even bigger liability. If I'm travelling somewhere I'm going now. I'm not risking this baby Daryl. You said it yourself, you don't want the baby growing up in a prison." She didn't mention the possibility that the group might get blown out of the prison but the unspoken thought was on all their minds.

"Then we leave this week," stated Merle, looking between Daryl and Carol for affirmation. Daryl reluctantly nodded and Carol followed suit. It would be up to Daryl to break the news to Rick and the others. Daryl couldn't help but feel that he had hung his best friend to dry but he wasn't about to lose Merle again. He vowed that he'd help Rick to form the escape plan and booby trap the tombs before they left.

Merle walked outside and lit a cigarette. _Gonna find ya little one_, he thought. He snorted a puff of smoke through his nose in a half laugh. _Ain't never begged no woman before but I guess I got it comin'_. _Old Farmer Joe prolly cut off my boys and feed 'em to the walkers before he lets me near ya again, not ta mention what that hellcat sister of yers'll do_. _Still…better than this fucked up life._ He thought about how gentle and innocent Beth was in comparison to Maggie and was once again surprised by the searing of pain in his chest. He tried to redirect his brain to think of sex but instead saw the beaming smile she gave him every morning when she woke up to find herself sharing his bed, so happy to be sharing his life. He flinched and sucked in his breath, then flicked the butt expertly onto the asphalt and walked to the tower.

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Carol had done her best to smooth things over with Rick who understandably was shocked and upset by the news that they were leaving. "I can't take Judith out of here, do you understand?" he asked as he paced, cocking his head and looking at her intently. Carol laid her hand on his arm. "I know," she said softly. "We'd never ask you to do that, to risk Carl or Judith again." They were interrupted by a commotion in the prison yard, the arrival of a school bus full of Woodbury residents begging for asylum from the governor. After tense negotiations they were allowed in and Carol busied herself for the rest of the day getting them set up in their own cells, including Tyreese and Sasha who she was glad to see. Some of the stories the residents told her of dealings at Woodbury chilled her to the bone. _The man is certifiably insane. At least now we have some power in numbers_, she thought.

That night she and Daryl fell into bed exhausted. His fingers brushed her belly lovingly as he began to snore. She smiled against his shoulder, remembering that night so long ago when she became his.

***Six months earlier***

Carol sat in her bunk and slowly took off her boots. She felt bad that she had snapped at Daryl earlier today. After he had rescued her from the tombs she thought that finally something might happen between them. He had carried her to safety pressing his scruff against her forehead and saying things she'd always wanted to hear him say. _Aint lettin' you go. Aint taking my eyes off you again. Thought ya left me, don't wanna go through that again._ She had felt his lips press against her forehead as they made their way to the others. She had been too weak to reply but it had only taken her a couple of days to get on her feet again, but while his eyes seemed to be on her every second he had maintained his distance, hardly speaking to her at all. She began to wonder why he even rescued her at all.

Today the group had had a meeting to prioritize what needed to be done while Rick grieved Lori. Daryl had volunteered himself and Carol for the next night's watch and after the crowd dispersed Carol had made the comment to him that he actually may have to talk to her when they were together. Then she walked away and now she felt foolish. She had handled it like a teenager and she'd need to apologize to him later.

Her musings were interrupted by a rustle at the door and she looked up to see him standing there. "Hi," she said. "Come in." He peered at her for a moment then nodded and walked into the cell. His face was illuminated by her candles and she was struck again at how handsome he was under the shaggy hair and beard. She noticed a gray streak in his beard that was new. This life was aging everyone.

He sat next to her on the bunk and she looked up at him sheepishly. "Sorry that I snapped at you," she said. "I was out of line." He gave her a half smile and she realized that he had come in here because he was anxious that she was angry with him. "S'OK," he rumbled in his rough voice and she nudged him with her shoulder playfully. They were OK.

The smile died on her face and out of the corner of her eye she saw him frown. They weren't OK. She wasn't OK. She was hurting and she had to know. Slowly she moved to take his hand, sandwiching it between hers. He stiffened so she moved quietly, tracing the veins on the back of his hand and then the lines on his palm and finally interweaving her fingers with his. They sat like this for a few minutes then she raised her face to look at his. "I'm going to do something," she murmured and her blue eyes studied his. He didn't move as she leaned into his shoulder with his chest and softly pressed her lips to his cheek then nuzzled her nose into the beard at the line of his jaw. He didn't pull away so she continued slowly until her lips found his and she kissed them as gently as she could.

She moved her head up then leaned her forehead against his, their noses touching and her eyes closed. She opened hers to find his fixed on her. "I just wanted you to know," she whispered. "It's OK if you don't feel the same way." She smiled ruefully and raised her hand to stroke his cheek as she pulled away. Then his eyes flashed and his lips were on her with crushing force. She tangled her fingers in his long hair to prevent herself from falling off of the bunk in shock. Once she kissed him back he whined in the back of his throat and forced her mouth open, poking his tongue in and out heatedly. Carol moaned in appreciation and his teeth banged against hers, his tongue shutting off her air and she felt his inexperience and the force of his frustration. She soothed him with long strokes to his back. "Let me make love to you?" she asked and he clutched at her roughly.

"It's just me and you," she whispered as she pushed the vest and shirt off of his shoulders. He was alternately consuming her mouth and panting against her neck as she got him out of his clothes. She heard his boots hit the bars of the cell as he kicked them off without looking. His hands were on her body and she arched into him, she could feel his hands shake as he pulled at her fly so she helped him and soon they were naked together. Daryl's eyes were wild as he looked down at her. "Carol I never," he started in a broken voice and she shushed him. "It's just me and you," she repeated, leaning her back on the bunk and lifting her breasts up for him. He fell upon them with a keening moan and her heart broke for this man who had never had love. She smoothed his hair as he pulled roughly at her breasts with his mouth and hands and trailed her fingernails slowly down his back to calm him.

Soon his hands trailed to follow the swell of her hips and thighs and she spread herself for him so he could know what the inside of a woman's pussy was like. She moaned as he rubbed her then inserted two fingers in her. She knew he was overcome and she whispered, "Take me Daryl. I'm yours." She grasped his cock and guided him in and she swore to herself as he filled her to the hilt that she'd never forget the look on his face as he experienced heaven with her. "Carol," he grunted and she opened wider for him. "Yes baby, this is the way it's supposed to be. Come on," she encouraged as she squeezed his ass cheeks and pulled him into her. Daryl thrust raggedly, he knew he was doing it all wrong but he was lost as Carol's pussy milked the orgasm from him after only a few strokes. He couldn't help collapsing on top of her as he breathed like a racehorse. When his breathing slowed she gently dragged her fingers through her hair and smiled into his eyes.

She could see that he was overwhelmed and she stroked his back until he fell out of her. He lifted his head nervously to look at her and she smiled again. "And it gets better every time," she said reassuringly. Daryl grunted and rolled off of her. "Not sure my heart can take it," he carped and as they got comfortable she grabbed his hand again. He looked at her drowsily. "I love you," she said. "And I expect a lot more of this."

***Present time*******

Carol pressed her forehead into Daryl's shoulder and situated her pregnant belly sideways into a comfortable sleeping position. Under his roughness and anger she had found an inexperienced boy who craved love and she made it a point to show him every day how much he meant to her and their unborn child. She grinned wickedly at the memories of the first months with him in bed, he had proved to be a fast learner and seemed determined to make up for forty years of celibacy. The sheer power of his passion amazed her. She never thought she could love again after Ed, and it perplexed her that end of the world she could find something so precious with Daryl.

She thought of Beth and Merle and said a short prayer. She knew that Beth had an unshakeable love for Merle, and the power of their passion had been evident to everyone in hearing distance….yet she was proud of Beth for refusing to be used, refusing to sacrifice her dignity for love. She didn't want to see Beth become what she herself had become with Ed. But Merle had changed and if he had even a fraction of the need for love that Daryl had, Carol knew in her heart that Beth was the one to give it to him. It seemed that Merle was waking up to the same idea. Hopefully it wasn't too late.

**Please everyone, I really need reviews, they make me excited about writing. I'm trying to give Caryl and Meth equal coverage in this story and I know there's a lot more Carylers than Methers so PLEASE R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Caravan

**Caravan**

**This chapter is set the day after Merle and Beth's fight at the prison, which is the day before the Greene's leave the prison.**

"Car!" yelled Carl from the tower. Rick quickly turned from his garden bed to see a plume of dust in the distance. "Get down Carl!" he yelled, gesturing for Tyreese to replace Carl in the tower. _Damn it_, he thought. _The Governor's knocking on our door and we're missing Daryl and Merle._ His blood chilled at the thought of Daryl and Merle being captured. "Get everyone inside! Defense positions!," he yelled to Carl.

Thirty minutes later Rick ran up to the tower. The dust was much closer but the car hadn't showed up yet. _They must be going 10 miles an hour_. He frowned as he looked through his binoculars. _Horses and wagons? Am I hallucinating again?_ He handed the binoculars to Tyreese who looked for a long minute then glanced at Rick in surprise.  
"You see it too," said Rick and Tyreese nodded in surprise. Tyreese grinned. "Feel like I'm in Bonanza" he quipped. "Good ole Lorne Green gonna come 'round the corner!"

Slowly the caravan wound its way to the prison gate. It was led by a gore-splattered Humvee and tailed by a dusty and dented Cadillac Escalade. In between were several vehicles including farm tractors and two horse-drawn wagons with makeshift tarp covers. Duct tape applied to the tarps of the biggest one spelled out 'FAITH' on the sides. Horses, cows and even a donkey were tied to some of the vehicles and a group of mixed breed dogs followed faithfully, dropping to their bellies with sighs of relief under the wagons when the caravan stopped. Curious chickens poked their heads out from under the tarps and women in old fashioned long sleeved dresses soothed curious children in the vehicles. The verse "Proverbs 3:6" was spray painted on the sides of the Humvee.

Rick and Tyreese stood fast in the tower, their guns trained on the lead vehicle. Slowly the grizzled man who drove the largest horse-drawn wagon climbed down, his hands in the air to signal peace. "DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND STATE YOUR BUSINESS!" shouted Rick, training his gun on the man. "AND WE'RE PATROLLED ALL ROUND SO DON'T TRY TO SEND ANYONE THROUGH THE BACK!" The grizzled man yelled something to the other wagon driver and motioned for the people in vehicles to stay put. The other wagon driver slowly dropped the reins and joined his companion and both of them laid their weapons on the ground. Their hands were in the air as they stepped back from their weapons. Rick noticed that the men were also dressed in dated clothes similar to the Mennonite style.

"WE MEAN NO HARM GOOD NEIGHBOR," replied the older man. "WE ARE SPREADING GOD'S WORD AND GATHERING HIS FOLLOWERS ON A JOURNEY TO ZION." Rick and Tyreese looked at each other in disbelief. _Jehovah's Witnesses in the apocalypse? _ Rick caught the twinkle in Tyreese's eye and both of them turned momentarily from the overlook, spluttering in laughter at the absurdity of the situation. Most of the time they'd be skeptical of visitors, but neither of them doubted that this group was the real deal. Rick eventually pulled himself together and nodded to the stairwell.

Carl joined them at the gate and Rick motioned for him to give the all's well message to the rest of the group then he turned to question the group about their intentions. By the time he had ascertained that they were acting as a travelling Christian mission on their way to a religious compound a small crowd of the prison group had gathered at the gate. Hershel was the last to arrive. As the religious group discussed their philosophies on God's reasons for the apocalypse Rick noticed a small herd of walkers coming out of the woods. "Walkers," he warned the men. The men smiled. "We are under God's protection brother. We walk with the animals."

Rick frowned, clearly thinking that the men were crazy. The men turned to their caravan and motioned for attention. "Brother Peter!" shouted the grizzled man and a man in his thirties emerged from one of the wagons. Rick couldn't hear what the man said to the dogs but was surprised to see them leap to attention at his feet. With another command they raced to the herd of walkers, barking and yipping. They quickly herded and surrounded the walkers then systematically pulled them down, ripping at their legs. The man calmly approached the downed walkers and with assistance from the dogs easily dispatched them with a knife. Another command had the dogs jumping gleefully around his legs then racing back for the coolness of the shade.

Beth had accompanied Hershel to the gate and watched with her mouth open. Her father crept closer to the gate and she was surprised when he called to the man. "Peter!" called Hershel. "Peter Claassen?" The man turned around in surprise and squinted in the sun, then approached the gate. "Hershel Greene?" he asked in a soft voice. "Peter!" replied Hershel with a wide smile. "I thank God for your safety." Hershel looked at Rick and said, "These people pose no threat Rick. Peter is a Mennonite from my area, I treated his animals and shared many interesting discussions about the Bible. His family is one of the best I've known. I'd stake my life on his word."

Rick nodded and allowed the group to enter and spend the night behind the fence. Conversations lasted through dinner and into the night. Rick's group told the caravan about Woodbury and the threat of the Governor while the caravan leaders told them of the compound named Zion. "Hundreds of acres of lush farmland Hershel, in the state of Tennessee not long from the Georgia border. Sweet clean water from the hills and like-minded people who have established order from chaos. The Jerusalem of the New World, Hershel, governed under God's law of love." They explained that three of the elders of their group had visited Zion to evaluate its safety months ago and had excitedly returned for their families, forming the caravan that now snaked its way slowly north.

Hershel spent the early morning hours soberly contemplating their situation and approached his daughters in the early morning hours. At breakfast they informed Rick of their painful decision. Hershel, Beth, Maggie and Glenn were leaving immediately for Zion.

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The dented pickup truck that Daryl had used for the hunt pulled up to the gate at sundown. Once in the inner compound Daryl swung angrily out of the truck. "Get anything?" asked Rick uneasily. "Yeah," spat Daryl. "A drunk asshole." Daryl jerked the passenger seat open and Merle fell out onto the asphalt swearing. "The fuck lil' brother?" he slurred. Both men had split knuckles and bruised faces, evidence of a Dixon disagreement. "Hey Friendly," said Merle brightly. "Ain't got no deer but we brought us back a metric shitload a moonshine." He laughed and laid back comfortably on the asphalt. "Send that lil' church girl out here, we got some makin' up to do," he rasped as he thrust his hips in the air to simulate sex. "She ain't gotta apologize, I can think of other things she can do with her mouth."

Merle grunted loudly as Daryl's boot connected with his rib. "Oops," growled Daryl as he walked by to retrieve some rabbit carcasses out of the truck bed. He turned to find Carol standing next to Rick and walked towards her to hand her the rabbits. He stopped when he saw the grim set of her mouth and the tears in her eyes. She was hugging her middle. " 'S wrong?," he asked, worried. "Somethin' wrong with the baby?" Carol shook her head and sobbed, walking into his arms. He looked at Rick, who combed his hand through his hair in defeat. "Glenn. The Greenes," he said tiredly. "They're gone."

**Hi everyone, please please please review me, it will make me write faster. And ladies? We all know we can write better than AMC, so get to it!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Acclimation

**Hi All! Here's another installment!**

**Acclimation**

Hershel looked around the temporary camp from his perch on the tractor. Their caravan had moved slowly but steadily and had picked up a considerable number of people along the way. The addition of more people meant more protection but more work. Their numbers swelled to almost one hundred, so much that they had to split into two caravans to maintain safety against humans and zombies alike. Glenn and Maggie had adapted quickly to life on the road again, they were lost in their own world and Hershel felt sure that he needn't about them or their relationship.

He frowned as she came into his line of sight. She naturally had a fair complexion but weeks on the road had turned her pale and listless. He watched her carry a bucket of water slowly to the fire and carefully pour it in the pot that they were using to make stew. There were a number of appreciative glances her way from young men in the group but she was oblivious to them.

Beth turned to make her way back to the nearby creek for more water and felt her father's eyes on her. She gave him a wan smile. Hershel smiled kindly back at her. She raised the bucket to him in explanation and resumed her path to the stream. She was well-groomed as always, her hair pulled neatly back into a pony tail and her clothes were in good shape. She was friendly enough to all the new people they'd met on their travels and did everything that was asked of her but something was gone from her. He knew she missed their prison family terribly especially her 'siblings' Carl and Judith. He missed them as well but their absence seemed to affect Beth to the center of her being. She had lost so many people at such a critical time in her life and he wondered if she'd ever recover.

He wondered if he'd made the right choice taking her from their prison family. The pain of her broken heart seemed to leak out of her at times, and he wondered if Merle Dixon had ruined her. He also wondered why Merle hadn't come for her. Maybe he had overestimated the man. His eyes fell on the tarp that read 'FAITH' and shook himself from his reverie. Faith was the reason for this journey and in time would resolve these problems. They were on the Tennessee border and Zion waited.

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*Two weeks earlier at the prison*

The governor struck without warning. Rockets hit the outer tower, killing the two former Woodbury residents that were on watch. A van was sent through the gates and released walkers into the compound. A tank took down the inner fence and many from the prison community didn't make it into the tombs for escape.

Daryl had pulled Carol to safety, taking a bullet through the back of his leg in the process. They hid in the woods until nightfall frantically looking for survivors. Luckily they regrouped with Rick, Judith and Carl but there was no sign of Merle. "I know he got out," said Daryl through clenched teeth as Carol tried to stop the bleeding. She nodded curtly and replied, "He may be around here but we have to get you somewhere safe. We have to go to the meeting point." She and Rick helped drag him along until they found a vehicle abandoned by the governor's men. They drove south to find the rural cabin that Daryl and Merle had named an emergency meeting point if they ever got separated - it was the opposite direction from the Tennessee border.

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Merle sensed blackness and pain. He opened his eyes to see a bleary grey blob against a bright blue background. He could hear walkers underneath him and the realization made him jerk his head to the side. The world spun and his stomach heaved so he shut his eyes until the motion stopped. Slowly he opened them again and was panicked to find that his eyes wouldn't focus. He carefully rolled to his side and tried to get his bearings, finally realizing that he was on what was left of the fenced walkway between the upper floors of the prison building. He reached his hand out and found that where there used to be walkway there was now empty space. The walkers were in the prison yard, reaching up for him like he was a piñata. If he rolled another couple of inches he'd drop off the ledge and make their day.

Then it came back to him, the attack and invasion. He had been patrolling the walkway when the missile hit it. He frantically look around but could only make out fuzzy shapes. He yelled out but got no answer. Everyone was dead or gone. _Fuck, where's Daryl?_ He cautiously felt his way into the prison, barricading himself into the cellblock that the original prison group had inhabited. There was no way he could escape if he couldn't see. He felt his way to Beth's cell and lay on her bunk. Her blankets were gone but her pillow was still there so he queasily descended into it and surrendered to the blackness.

He awoke several times, once jerking up suddenly then vomiting on the floor when the nausea overcame him. How long had he been there? Days? A week? He was weak with dehydration and hunger when he finally was able to focus his eyes enough to make out his surroundings. He had to find Daryl.

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It took days to dodge walkers and find a vehicle and Merle was on his last leg. When Carol jerked the door open an emaciated Merle fell to the ground, then his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out. She set him up in the same room with Daryl. Thank God they had stocked this place because they weren't going anywhere for a while.

It took weeks for Rick and Carol to get rid of Daryl's infection and for Merle's head injury symptoms to resolve. She knew the brothers were improving when they started to pick at each other.

"Goddam, yer woman here to wipe ya down again? That bullet blow yer nuts off too brother?"

"Fuck you Merle. Piece a concrete prolly broke when it hit yer head. We should go see if it's OK."

By the time the men were healthy enough for travel Michonne had found them and she and Rick's family elected to stay in the cabin to see if they could find more of the prison group. It had been months since the Greenes had left and they had most certainly made it to Zion by now. Merle was chafing at the bit to find Beth and he began preparing for the journey. He and Carol pored over the Georgia state map, looking at the border shared by Tennessee. "There," pointed Carol. "Sweetwater. They said it was near Sweetwater." Daryl paced, chewing his thumbnail. "Y'aint havin' our baby on the road," he ordered. Carol looked at him levelly. "You're right," she said. "I'm having it here. Then we're leaving. The four of us together." She cocked an eyebrow at him and he knew her expression meant that she was not going to stay behind. "Fine," he conceded reluctantly and he bided the ten remaining days by searching for an appropriate vehicle. The day he came home with the cargo van Carol went into labor and that night May Andrea Dixon was born.

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When Carol had healed enough to travel they tricked out the back of the van with sleeping quarters, a porta-potty and lots of supplies. Luckily there were only front windows so prying eyes couldn't learn much about them. They knew that this journey would be long and hard. They also knew they may never see the Grimes family again. Carol couldn't help crying as she bid them goodbye. "We'll leave signs along the way," she promised. "Come find us Rick. Come live with us."

Rick nodded gravely. "Soon's I find the others we'll be on our way," he promised. "Drive like hell and don't stop for anybody." She nodded and released him from a long hug. Rick shook Daryl's hand. "I'll find you brother," he promised the redneck. Daryl nodded. "You better," he replied, his voice rougher than usual. Blue eyes met blue and Daryl nodded in silent affirmation. This was the brother he had chosen.

Merle nodded curtly towards Michonne and the kids and halted when Rick approached him. Rick gave him a long questioning look. "I didn't think you were capable," stated Rick after a long while. "But you love her don't you?" he finally asked. Merle's eyes shifted for a moment but his face didn't change expression. He wasn't going to lay himself out there for Friendly to attack. "Well," continued Rick. "If you're plannin' on treating her right I hope ya find her Merle. I don't think any of us are going to get any more chances." Merle's only reaction was to flare his nostrils in surprise as Rick walked back towards his family and put his arm around Michonne.

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They avoided the major highways as much as they could and stayed on the side roads. The third day they ran into a large herd and couldn't get out of it so Daryl killed the engine and hung sheets in the windows so they couldn't be seen. "Best get some sleep," he said to Merle who grunted in affirmation and crawled into the back. Luckily May was sleeping so hopefully they'd be able to wait the herd out.

Merle got comfortable and closed his eyes. The more he tried not to think of Beth the more he saw her. He rubbed his forehead and cleared his throat, letting his head drop to the side. He remembered a day early in their relationship when she had called to him after breakfast.

_He was following Daryl out of the door for watch duty and he turned when he heard her call his name. She sprang towards him lightly with a bright smile on her face and a granola bar in her hand. "Here," she said as she tucked it into the front pocket of his black shirt. She straightened his collar and adjusted the neck of his wife beater while she was at it. "In case you get hungry before lunch." Merle's consternation showed in his face. What the hell is this about?_

_His head jerked a little as she rose on her toes to rub noses with him then give him a light kiss. Her hands were still wrapped in his shirtfront. "Ya keep that," he said. "Don't need to eat ya rations." Beth giggled and rose on her toes again to put her mouth next to his ear. "I took it. It's Rick's," she confided and he snorted through his nose. She released his shirt but kept her hands on his chest. "Have a good day!" she said looking up at him happily. "I'll miss you til lunch." Then she backed away to let him leave, watching him as he went through the door._

Merle rubbed the memory out of his forehead with the back of his hand and told himself to get to sleep, but she invaded his dreams. He saw her under him, soft and shy, her pink tipped breasts peeking out from the tank top that he had pushed up in his frenzy to get to her. Jesus Christ those titties were perfect. He remembered the feel of them in his mouth and could almost relish her taste on his tongue. He could hear her gasps of surprise as he brought her to her first pleasure, her body shaking as he whispered to her to give herself to him. And fuck, that night he finally sunk his cock in her…..

He woke up with his hand in his pants. It was first light and he could hear the others snoring. He quickly jerked himself off, closing his eyes to imagine his mouth working its way down her back, the curve of her waste and flicking his tongue over her smooth ass cheek. He swallowed his roar as he spurted on his stomach. As he wiped it up with his shirttail he closed his eyes to get another glimpse of her but all he could see was the open door of his cell. She was gone.

**So angsty! Can you tell I'm in a bad mood from dieting?! Please read and review, reviews will keep me from EATING!**


	6. Chapter 6 - Zion

**Hello my pretties, thanks so much for your lovely reviews on this story and on my 'Fuck you AMC' Caryl chapter in Anniversaries (Terminus). I've had a challenging day and my heart is with Beth so let's have some more angst shall we?**

**Zion**

Beth woke up slowly and looked around her. Even after a month in Zion it still surprised her to wake up in a real bed and in her own room. She sat up and rested a moment, enjoying the morning sunlight that bathed her bedroom. She smelled sausage and jumped out of bed to greet the day. Hershel was frying sausage and making pancakes at the stove and Maggie and Glen were drinking coffee at the kitchen table. Everyone bid each other a good morning and Beth sat at the table with her own coffee. "Working with Peter today, Bethie?" asked Hershel. Beth nodded eagerly and said, "He's taught me so much about dog training. Yesterday he gave me my own pregnant bitch and I get to train the puppies outright this time! He said I can keep breeding her too."

Hershel chuckled. His youngest was a true farm girl and her life had revolved around horses and dogs before the turn. He was glad to see some color back in her face. Like her father, she had a way with animals and felt most comfortable with their company. Maggie spoke up. "Glenn and I have a security meeting today. They called a special one last night, I wonder what's up?" Hershel put the food on the table and turned off the stove. "Probably herds," he replied.

He watched Beth down a glass of milk as fast as he used to drink beer. She had been drinking it at every opportunity and was beginning to fill out. Her face was rounder and she had to get bigger clothes last week to accommodate her blooming hips and chest. "Zach was by earlier," he said. His statement didn't earn much of a response from Beth. Twenty five year old Zach had been courting Beth continuously since she arrived. Last week she had relented and let him take her on a walk and kiss her. She liked Zach a lot, he was a nice guy and they were friends, but when he kissed her she felt nothing and when she went to bed that night she cried in her pillow over Merle. But her daddy had been so happy that she was 'seeing' somebody. She knew that he just wanted her whole again. She would try to give that to him as best as she could. "I'll invite him for dinner," she said with a small smile to Hershel. Hershel patted her arm and slid his own glass of milk over to her. He would walk to the stables with Beth this morning to look over the livestock. There were no other veterinarians in Zion and he was teaching Beth all he could about general veterinary medicine. His family bent their heads in prayer and Hershel meditated for a moment. "Thank you heavenly father for our kin, our friends, and for leading us to Zion," he said.

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"His name is Negan. He has a large group somewhere in the area but we don't know how many are in it. All the other communities have acquiesced to his wishes and have had the lion's share of their resources taken from them. We've invited him to join our fellowship on every occasion but he refuses to be swayed. He wants his fill of what we have in exchange for what he calls protection," lectured Brother Elijah. The room contained the 30 people that constituted Zion's security force. Maggie and Glenn were the newest additions to the group and Elijah was explaining their current situation to them.

"How many times has he threatened?" asked Maggie. Brother Oliver answered, "Yesterday marks the third time his group has showed up. This was the first time that we've met Negan himself. We explained to him that we don't need protection but that we'd be happy to welcome his group. Apparently he didn't like that. He warned us that the next visit would bring violence." Maggie and Glenn looked at each other. This sounded too much like The Governor. "What resources does he have?" asked Glenn. "We're unsure," answered Brother Elijah. "And the other groups in the area have sent word that they'll no longer associate with us unless we follow Negan. They are afraid of the consequences. He may force them to participate in an act against us."

"So," said Maggie. "We find him and we attack. Take him out first." The membership of the room turned to look at her and at that moment she realized that being a woman may not give someone license to air their opinions in Zion. She shrugged. "Simple," she said. Brother Richard responded sternly, "We, young lady, do not raise a hand against our neighbor. We live practicing God's law." Maggie stood up. "Yessir, I know that," she said. "My father himself is a man of God and I've been taught God's law my whole life. But I can assure you that men like Negan have no regard for God's law. They trade only in violence and fear. And if they outman us, the only thing we can do is surprise them and make the first strike."

"And so you suggest that we ourselves hand out violence and fear to stop this man? Child this perpetrates a never-ending cycle, one that can only be interrupted by love. We'll continue to invite Mr. Negan's group to join us but we will most certainly not be extorted by him or contribute to his manner of society!" stated Brother Melvin emphatically. "The word of the Lord!" All the other members but Glenn stood. "The word of the Lord," they affirmed. Glenn and Maggie traded glances. They needed to call a family meeting.

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Beth loved working with Peter. He had immediately recognized her gifts and placed her with him in the stables where they conducted dog training as well as general animal husbandry on the horses, cows, goats, chickens and single llama that lived in Zion. Beth was a very able student and earned the respect of the other stable hands quickly. She worked hard, didn't complain and had a firm but loving hand with the animals. When she was in the stables working with the animals she felt light and happy. When she wasn't picking up training tips with Peter she was on rounds with her father absorbing as much as she could. She returned home each night pleasantly sore and dirty from an honest day's work and dropped off to sleep easily after a warm shower.

Tonight she cleaned up quickly because as she promised her father she had invited Zach over for dinner. She wiped her face off and put on clean clothes then looked at herself in the mirror. She tried to smile when she thought of Zach but even to her the smile looked forced. She propped her arms against the sink and closed her eyes. Immediately Merle popped up unbidden in her mind's eye. She could see him standing quietly in the corner of the common room while she sang for the group, his eyes never wavering from her. That was the night they first kissed and she had never felt so alive or wanted or dominated. They hadn't been able to stay away from each other after that. She smiled, hanging onto that memory then there was a knock at the door and her face crumpled because the spell was broken. "Coming," she called, pulled herself together and went down for dinner.

Negan was the hot topic of the evening. Maggie was agitated and Glenn was edgy. "Daddy, I know you love it here," said Maggie. "But we've seen this before. We need to be ready to go on a minute's notice. And we need to be ready to fight. A man like this isn't going to respond to love." Hershel silently regarded his daughter, deep in thought. Zach spoke up. "I'm sure he won't be a problem," he said optimistically. "Once the elders have a sit down with him he'll see the path. My family has been here for a year and we haven't had any problems." Hershel noticed the set of Glenn's jaw as Glenn said, "Hershel, I agree with Maggie. We all love it here but…..I've got a bad feeling about this. We don't know what happened at the prison after we left but…..I can tell you it likely wasn't good. The Governor was a sociopath and Negan's threats sound all too familiar." Beth stayed silent and watched the conversation play out. Her daddy still hadn't said anything.

Maggie was tense through the entire dinner and Hershel was thoughtful. The social and religious leadership in Zion was outstanding and the small village was five hundred strong with many young families. But he would admit that what they lacked was Rick's type of leadership – the leadership that could make the hard calls when their backs were against the wall. He decided that he would have a talk with the elders in the morning to influence their thinking. Beth looked at her plate, thinking about what could have happened at the prison since they left. _Judith? Carl? Merle_? Are they alive? Are they still there? Her brow was furrowed and she pushed her food around her plate. It was a sad testament to this world that Beth could imagine exactly what the Governor could dish out and Negan too.

Zach was finished with seconds and looked at Beth expectantly. "How about a walk Beth?" he asked. She looked up at him surprised, she had forgotten he was there. "Okay," she smiled and scooted her chair out. She saw Maggie sending a conspiratorial smile to Glenn and decided to be a good sport. It was making everyone happy and they all deserved happiness after what they'd been through.

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Beth tossed in bed thinking about Negan and The Governor. Maggie had told her that Negan was taking good-looking young women from other compounds in exchange for protection. Beth was pretty sure that Maggie must have told Hershel that too. When she arrived home after the walk with Zach the Greene family made sure that their emergency supplies were near the house exits. Even in a beautiful place like Zion one had to be prepared.

Her mind was roaming out of control and she tried to center on one thought. _Merle._ She couldn't even describe how much she missed him. She tried to stash the pain away in the furthest corners of her but when her defenses were down he always emerged. What if she would have stayed? Would they have broken up? The torture of seeing him everyday dating other women would have been too much to handle. She hoped that they would have made up instead. She thought about how making up with him might go – anger and shouting then tears then professions of love, then making love in the hushed silence of the prison at night.

She was pretty sure that Merle Dixon had never made love to anyone in his life –it wasn't in him to make himself vulnerable. She had tried so hard to tear down those walls and she knew that she had been pretty successful to a point. She could imagine what making love to him might be like based on the way her body sang when he fucked her…and that's what she thought of tonight.

She sighed as she imagined stroking his stubbly face and looking into his eyes as he told her he loved her. She would lie on top of him and kiss him softly until he pulled her hips down onto his, then she would deepen the kiss and rub her body along his. Beth closed her eyes and trailed her hand lightly down from her lips to her neck as she imagined the bulk of him under her and his hand running up and down her ass. She smiled because she knew he would quickly become impatient and roll her on her back so he could see and touch all of her, Merle always wanted all of her.

Her tank top landed on the comforter as she imagined him working his way from her neck to her breasts. She moaned aloud as she pinched her nipples in unison and an electric current shot to her pussy, dampening her panties. He would take a long time here, first teasing then roughly pulling her nipples with his mouth. She remembered how far her nipples jutted out when he was done with them and she pinched and pulled them until she was rubbing her ass on the bed. He would love how much bigger her breasts were now and she squeezed them appreciatively.

With her shorts still on he would tease by making his way down her belly and rubbing his face into the damp V between her legs, she would hear his rough voice softly telling her pussy how wet she was for him. She slowly slipped her shorts off and rubbed the outside of herself feeling her own heat. And then….."Ooooohhhhh," she moaned as her finger teased the petals of her sex open. "Merle!" His mouth would work her, tongue flicking in and out and then his lips would descend on her clit. "Oh God, yes," whispered Beth as she increased the circular motion on her clit.

But he would want all of her the night they made love so when she began to tremble he would spread her legs further and take her, his cock pushing into her relentlessly. Beth's long middle finger entered her pussy and reached for that wonderful spot inside. He would profess his love as he pounded her, telling her she was the only one, telling her she was his wife. Beth's legs raised into the air of their own accord as she reached deep inside while massaging her clit and suddenly she was there. "Oh God yes, Merle, I'm yours," she grunted as the world stopped for a millisecond then exploded around her. She ground her ass rhythmically into the bed as she stroked herself, her fluids splashing onto the sheets and the walls of her pussy squeezing the imaginary cock of Merle Dixon. She imagined the head of his cock swelling and his cries of ecstasy as he spurted into her. She would hold him and stroke his back through his orgasm and press him to her so that he'd fall asleep on top of her, spent from his efforts of the night.

Beth sighed happily and straightened the twisted sheets up around her, then lay back and held her pillow to her chest as if it were him she were holding. "I love you Merle," she whispered as she drifted off to sleep.

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Two weeks later two hundred of Negan's men showed up at the gates of Zion. Negan was fresh out of patience.

**Mmmmmmm, I think Negan could get my motor running almost as well as Merle, unfortunately I'm neither young nor conventionally beautiful so I wouldn't have a shot. Oh well…read and review and YES I'M STILL ON MY DIET AND CRANKY!**


	7. Chapter 7 - Alternate Plans

**Diet tally: Five pounds lost, ten more pounds to go. Still cranky. Read and review or I'll show up at your house and eat all of your food.**

**Alternate Plans**

'Zion 5 miles' read the sign. It had been a long trying journey with a lot of close calls but they were finally there. Daryl checked the rearview mirror and thought that Merle ought to just get out and run the last five miles because he looked like he was going to explode. They picked their way down a country highway that looked like it had been well traveled since the turn. When they got to within a mile Daryl swore and Carol gripped his hand tightly. There was a trail of carnage - walkers, vehicles, garbage. Daryl heard Merle growling under his breath. They turned the corner to make out a compound much like Woodbury but larger. The gates were chained shut from the outside and the visible buildings were charred and broken. Through the gates they could see that he compound teemed with hundreds of walkers. The large sign on the outside wall that used to read 'Welcome to the Community of Zion' had been spray painted to read "The Community of Zion Did Not Obey Negan."

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They sat in shocked silence for some time until May began to fuss. The noise seemed to break them out of their spell. "I'm goin' in," announced Merle as he swung out of the van and slammed the door. Daryl quickly followed. "Merle, ya can't!" He caught up to him and grabbed his arm, swinging him around. "Ya can't Merle, there's too many of 'em." Merle jerked his arm back and snarled, "The hell there is." He walked to the gate and started stabbing walkers through the bars. "Pull the van up here," he ordered.

Daryl muttered under his breath and went back to the van, telling Carol he had control of the situation. He pulled the van up to the gate and Merle hopped on top of it to get a better view into the compound. The picture wasn't much better from above. There were at least one hundred zombies in there, probably two hundred and it looked like a lot of them were women and kids. "Son of a bitch," swore Merle. He looked at Daryl. "I gotta know," he stated.

The brothers shared a long look then Merle jumped down. "Y'all get ta safety," said Merle authoritatively. "I'm goin' in." Daryl shook his head. "We ain't gettin' separated again. You go in, I go in." Merle looked at him and laughed humorlessly. "Yer woman ain't gonna let that happen Ballerina." Daryl sidled then took out a few walkers that straggled towards them. "Ain't no hurry now that we're here Merle. Let's find somewhere ta hole up and come up with a plan." Merle's eyes drifted back to the gates. He thought a minute then he nodded in reply and reluctantly got back into the van.

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Carol didn't complain but she was exhausted and Daryl knew it. She wasn't producing enough milk to feed May and the baby fussed nightly. Carol smiled at him whenever he looked at her but he noticed the pallor of her skin and the shadows under her eyes in the firelight. He had to do something. He found Merle standing watch by a cluster of trees. "Hey," mumbled Daryl and Merle grunted in return. They both stared into the darkness for a while then Merle gave a humorless laugh. "So damned quiet out there, almost think we're alone. 'S almost like it used to be." Daryl nodded. Since they had left the Atlanta area the walkers were definitely less prevalent. It was almost hopeful.

Daryl cleared his throat. "Carol needs ta rest Merle. We gotta stop, for her and May." Merle remained silent as he continued to look into the woods. He was silent so long that Daryl thought he hadn't heard him. "Merle," he repeated. Merle gave a brief nod. "I know. I heard ya." The crickets chirped in the night as Merle ground his teeth. He finally turned his head to look at Daryl. "I'll help ya find a place, get it set up. Plenty a room 'round here for ya." Daryl shook his head and replied, "Us. A place for us brother. It wouldn't be home without ya." Merle stared at Daryl and Daryl could not read his eyes. Merle nodded and said, "Get some sleep."

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Two years later Carol had their second child, Theodore Hershel Dixon. Luckily their closest neighbors five miles to the south had become friends and the matriarch Lerlene was there to help. Lerlene was in her thirties and had a houseful of young kids so she was no stranger to home birthing. It was a long labor but in the end mother and baby were fine and Merle was thankful that he 'din't have ta see all that shit comin' out like his brother did." Daryl was proud as he could be of his new son and Merle inspected him enough to say he had 'Dixon-like credentials' in the front diaper area. May was excited and jealous so Uncle Merle took her out on the motorcycle for a secret ride that she swore she wouldn't tell her parents about (and did as soon as she ran back into the house).

Their farmstead was in a valley not far from Sweetwater. They learned that Negan's own men had turned on him soon after the Zion attack - the coup was led those who wanted their wives back and after they killed Negan they strung his body high in their compound. The group had dissolved and dispersed throughout Tennessee and Georgia and no further trouble was reported. At about the same time industrial centers in some cities began functioning again and a rudimentary transport and postal system was emerging. The Dixons could go to Sweetwater to trade for food and goods and had access to a lot more creature comforts than they'd become accustomed to at the prison.

They laid claim to twenty acres of orchard in a valley between two hills. The inner part of the farm containing the house, garages and barns was secured with double fences and Merle and Daryl swept the area every morning in case walkers entered. The perimeter of the orchard was secured only with one barbed wire fence that had survived the turn almost intact. When Carol and May went to the orchards Daryl always went with them and made sure they had weapons and a vehicle for shelter. Their orchard produced peaches, apples and pecans that Carol dried for their own food stores and for trading. Her green thumb served her well and as soon as Merle and Daryl were able to till the soil she worked on vegetables and other produce. The rest of the land was pasture for their bull and handful of cows. They didn't worry about the walkers getting the cattle because the bull kicked the ass of anything that came into the pasture. After the calves were weaned they were put into an adjoining pasture that was in between the house and the bull's pasture for protection. Lactating cows were kept in the barn near the house. Daryl and Merle were ecstatic to have beef and Carol was grateful that May and T had milk.

Once the farm was secured Merle resumed his search for Beth. It took him months and the help of other survivors to kill the walkers trapped behind the gates of Zion. He looked at the face of each and every one before they were burned and was relieved that he recognized none. He found the house that the Greene's inhabited but found no clues as to where they had gone. Daryl was with him that day and he followed Merle into Beth's room. "Clear?" asked Daryl and Merle had nodded curtly. Daryl left him alone with his thoughts while he verified that the other rooms upstairs were clear. When he came back he saw Merle rip a piece of paper from a notebook near the bed, fold it carefully, then put it in his pocket. "They got out," Daryl stated from the doorway. Merle turned to him and nodded then led the way from the house, never to return. After that he journeyed in ever widening circles from Zion looking for the Greene family. He kept a map of his travels in the same pocket of his pants with the piece of paper from Beth's room. He believed in his heart that Beth Greene was alive and that he didn't deserve to find her, but that wasn't going to stop him from looking.

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Beth cradled her wailing niece in her arms and laughed conspiratorially with Hershel. Olivia Dale Rhee had Glenn's eyes and smooth olive skin but her attitude was Maggie all the way. "Oh is she a handful," laughed Beth as she struggled to hang onto the one-year old who was determined to climb up the ladder into the hayloft. Livvy shrieked loudly and stiffened like a plank in Beth's arms causing Beth to laugh harder. "Was Maggie like this?" she yelled over the toddler's cries and Hershel laughed. "Only every day until she married Glenn," he said wryly, his eyes crinkled with laughter at his first grandchild. Maggie and Glenn already had a second child in the works and Hershel couldn't have been happier to see his family thriving. He did hope that at least one of Maggie's children would have Glenn's easygoing personality so that the poor young man wasn't surrounded.

Glenn showed up looking harried. "I heard her halfway across the compound. I'd ask if she's hurt but I think I know better," he said. Hershel put his hand on Glenn's arm. "I can keep her tonight son," he said kindly and Glenn's eyes temporarily lit up in hope, then dropped. "Maggie would kill me. She said I'm on baby duty tonight because I was at Fremont's last night," he said. "I better get Livvy home." Hershel and Beth watched Glenn walk calmly away with the thrashing, wailing child in his arms. "Oh Lord," exclaimed Beth through her laughter, "I hope that glass of beer was worth it yesterday because he's getting it from both sides tonight!"

Beth bid her father goodnight and headed to the little house she shared with her boyfriend. Hershel watched her thoughtfully as she walked away. When they arrived in Decatur several years ago they despaired that the trauma of the attack on Zion had permanently damaged Beth and that she'd never come out of it. Hershel knew that Beth would never forget watching Negan's men cut Zach's throat as his eyes begged her to run. Something inside of her had broken that day and as a result Beth could no longer cry. Even when Livvy was borne Beth had smiled and seemed happy but it occurred to Hershel that a layer of his youngest daughter had gone, something that defined her, something that allowed her to feel the highest of highs and the lowest of lows had vanished. _It may be locked away or it may be lost, _he thought_. But she's done well surviving without it._ Sometimes he thought that it was as if her eye color had suddenly changed, she was so inherently different from the tender-hearted girl she had been. _But they all grow up_ he sighed. _Maybe part of this is just natural_.

The first six months in Decatur Beth only ventured to the barns, her Zion bitch trailing with her puppies. Beth only really talked with her family and busied herself using Peter's training methods on her pups and any other dogs that showed promise. The stable manager Brian was impressed with Beth's abilities and asked if she would train the horses as well. By the end of that year she had a kennel of dogs that were trained to find, herd and take down walkers to assist people on horseback. After a hiatus of almost one year, Beth was renewed with a purpose.

Beth had politely turned down dozens of potential suitors because she had no interest in romance anymore. She really couldn't see the point of it when it was clear that for her it would only end in pain. She did her best to avoid the issue and buried herself in her family. Then one day Maggie invited her to the local watering hole of the compound, a joint called Fremont's. Beth had a couple rum and cokes then left the table to get a closer look at the stage. It was set up with a piano, drums and a guitar. Beth shot a questioning look at the owner who nodded his head and she took the guitar back to the table with her. Soon she was picking out tunes for duets with Maggie and next thing they knew they were on the stage singing for the crowd.

Afterwards a tall handsome young man approached Beth. His jet-black hair curled around his face and his white teeth gleamed in sharp contrast to his olive skin. He was lean in build and moved with an easy grace. He wanted to write music for her vocals and he introduced himself as Andrew Richardson. "But you can call me Drew," he said with an easy smile. Beth and Drew formed an easy partnership writing music together and soon they were playing regularly at the Sunday church services and at Fremont's. It took Drew almost one year to get Beth to move in with him. He proposed to her in front of her family but she refused to get married. "I'm just not ready Drew. I'm so sorry. It doesn't mean I don't love you," she said with sad eyes.

Hershel talked to Drew about Beth and explained to him that she had suffered greatly after the turn. "She's had five years of horror and fear. The only advice I can give you, son, is to give her time," he said in a fatherly manner. Drew had been silent through Hershel's talk, sitting with his elbows on his knees. He wasn't stupid and he knew that something in Beth was damaged, he could see it dampen the happiness in her eyes. Then again, it was hard to find any survivor who wasn't damaged these days. When Hershel finished Drew looked up. "She won't tell me much," he confided. "But I know there was someone else. She talks about him in her sleep but when I bring it up she tells me it was just a dream. Hershel, who is Merle?"

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"Do I look like a fuckin' jungle gym?" growled Merle as May and T crawled all over him in the front yard. Carol laughed and said, "Well, you kind of do Merle!" It was late morning and it was threatening to be a hot one today. Carol wiped the sweat off of her forehead. Now that T was toddling she really had her hands full. She shifted the drying racks in front of the house to lay more peach slices on them. "Peaches ought to dry fast today," she said. "I might be able to get two batches done if I work all day at it." Carol's dried fruits were popular at the Sweetwater market, some of the vendors there had even offered to take them to other communities. She was trying to increase production so she could do that.

Daryl was moving buckets of peaches from the garage to the drying racks when the front gate alarm went off. "I hope it's George with the post," Carol said. Even though it only ran once a week, the pony express that delivered post in the 20 miles surrounding Sweetwater was dependable. A lot of that had to do with George, an old curmudgeon who loved riding horses as much as he loved taking out walkers and gossiping. He loved Carol because she always had a fresh baked treat for him.

Carol left Daryl and Merle and walked down to the front gate. She verified that it was George then let him in. They spent about fifteen minutes gossiping while Daryl rolled his eyes at Merle. "Old fucker's 'bout ta stick his tongue down the back of ya woman's pants," said Merle. Daryl responded with a "Pffft" and said, "Asshole never stops talkin' long enough ta do nothin' else." The brothers grumbled to each other while Carol laughed and talked with George. After George handed her the post (including a funny letter from Lerlene) she said, "George that's a beautiful horse, I haven't seen it before. And did you get a new dog?" George spit a brown wad of tobacco juice off to the side as he turned to caress the new mare's neck.

"Yep, ole Firefly's getting arthritic and Oliver ain't never had a brain 'tween his ears, dumped me right in front of a herd last time I took him out. I put in an order for this pair a year ago and it finally came through. Good timing too because these is going like flapjacks now." Carol frowned, she didn't see what the big deal about a horse and a dog was. She looked at the hindquarters of the horse and said, "That's the most beautiful brand I've ever seen. Is it in cursive?" George looked at her quizzically. "Aint you know nothin' bout horses lady?" he asked. Carol laughed and shook her head. George patted the mare's shoulder fondly. "These is special bred and trained, this horse and dog'll protect each other and the rider against any walkers that's within a mile or two. Govmnt's buyin' 'em all up now so they can use them for the post. But I got my order in 'fore they was popular. See?" he said, as he traced the cursive letters with his finger proudly. "BG. I got me an official Beth Greene pair."

**Remember, read and review or you'll wake up in the morning with no chocolate left in your house.**


	8. Chapter 8 - Found

**Thanks everyone for sticking with this story! I'm loving it so far, and I've had a lot of time to think about cute little things to throw in. There's still some questions in my mind as to how to do some things but I'll work it out. **

**Found**

They traced it out carefully on the map. "Twenty five miles from Sweetwater to Decatur, almost due west. You would have found it in less than a year Merle," murmured Carol. She frowned when she looked at the half moon shape that George had drawn on the east side of Decatur. "Impassible," replied Merle. George had explained that the area was hilly and thick with walkers. Trade and post was only able to run between Sweetwater and Decatur every couple of months because vehicles had to make a circular route around the area in between. It had taken George a week to get there to get his horse/dog pair by vehicle and several weeks to ride them back using the same route.

Merle clamped the cigarette between his lips and picked up the map to look at it better. "Gonna need supplies," he grunted. "I'm goin' inta town tomorrow. Make a list a what ya need." They determined that he would travel to town alone because Daryl wouldn't leave Carol by herself with the kids. That was fine with Merle, it gave him time to think on the drive. George had described Beth to them and there was no doubt that she was alive in Decatur. "Cute lil' ole girl, blonde hair and blue eyes and can't weigh more than a buck twenty. Dad's a vet, only got one leg. You all know her?" George had asked. Carol had quickly glanced at Merle's stony expression then explained to George that they had been in a group together before they arrived in Sweetwater. When he mentioned that he could get letters to Decatur she quickly dashed off a note to the Greene family. She explained that they had been looking for Beth when she handed the letter to George. "Maybe it'll get there before that big boy does," George had cackled, looking at Merle who had stared back tensely.

The drive to Sweetwater was uneventful. The town was barricaded and protected to the point that vendors had reestablished storefronts. The only time that Sweetwater shut down was when large herds came near and had to be taken down. Otherwise the municipal water had been restored and generators ran for electricity. Besides many open trade stores that dealt in produce and meats there were a couple of gas stations, a makeshift clothing store, a bar with a quietly run whorehouse up top, a tattoo and piercing parlor, a weapons store, a nurse's office and two hardware stores. The federal government was nowhere near getting a currency back in place so all commerce in Sweetwater ran on trade.

Once inside the gates Merle parked and traded some motorcycle parts for a glass of Coca Cola at the bar, ignoring one of the hookers' requests for a freebie. She flounced off disappointed. None of the girls had ever been able to get Merle Dixon into bed and it wasn't for lack of trying. They all wanted a taste of the grim biker (or his brother) but he always sent them on their way. And he always drank soda, not like Daryl who always threw down a few shots of whiskey and washed them down with a beer.

Merle finished his soda and savored each piece of ice left in the glass before he moved on purposefully. He had tradin' to do.

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Merle traded most of the day and returned before nightfall. He and Daryl decided that he'd take a large four-wheel drive SUV they'd salvaged off the highway a while back. It ran well and could handle the terrain if he needed to take it off road. Carol packed him up with ample supplies as well as gifts for the Greene family. He was ready to go two days later. The morning was cool and the sun was just peeking over the horizon. Daryl nodded at him. "Tell Hershel and Glenn hey," he muttered. Merle nodded and they shared an awkward one-armed man hug. Carol smiled at Merle and put her hands on both sides of his face. "Good luck," she said simply. He swallowed and nodded then swung into the drivers seat.

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"Rug eatin' son of a cunt!" yelled Merle as he backed away from the large herd. He had known that the region just east of Decatur was considered impassible but being a Dixon he'd tried it anyway. It seemed that wherever he turned there was either a body of water, a blocked road or a herd. He was low on ammo and if he didn't watch it he was going to burn through his tank of gas. He punched the dashboard with his bad arm. He'd have to turn around and go the long way.

It took him a day and a half to correct his mistake and he seethed behind the wheel. Eventually he pulled into an abandoned junkyard to bed down for the night. If he were lucky he'd be able to scavenge around there in the morning before he took off again. He stretched out in the back seat after covering the windows with blankets. It took him a long while to settle into sleep because his thoughts were racing. He berated himself for trying to go through the crescent then his body relaxed he questioned his reasons for going to Decatur in the first place. He'd looked for Beth for three long years. _Why? To know she's safe? To tell her she was wrong about me? To tell her I was wrong? Because I love her? Because I want her back?_ Dixons didn't talk about these kind of things. Not even to themselves.

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Beth frowned as she yanked a metal comb through Gypsy's tail. Gypsy cocked an ear back at her and shifted her weight from one hip to the other. The paint mare was heavily pregnant and Beth wanted to get her tail wrapped so when she went into labor it wouldn't get in the way. She hoped that this labor would go well, they had once lost a mare and her foal in Zion due to a complicated labor and Beth would never forget it. She'd also never forget the progress and people lost in Zion. Part of the Greene escape plan had been for Beth to release the farm animals into the compound to create a distraction that would allow for their escape. Some of the horses and dogs had followed Beth when she rode Gypsy out of the hole in the compound wall but she'd never forget hearing the screams of the animals and people as Negan's men slaughtered them. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and finished up Gypsy's tail.

She heard Cole's voice resonating down the barn aisle and she remembered why she had been irritated in the first place. When they arrived in Decatur the small community was a little cold to newcomers. Beth had insisted on caring for her own animals and after only a week it was obvious that she was more knowledgeable about animal husbandry and management then either of the two men who were in charge of the farm animals. Miguel was a family man in his early thirties who became friends with Beth and enjoyed learning from her. Cole on the other hand was a good old boy in his fifties who resented Beth's presence from the start. He belittled her until her animal training skills began to draw the attention of those within and outside the community, then he grudgingly assumed the role of second in charge managing the stock. He refused to use any of Beth's methods and preferred instead to intimidate the animals with a heavy hand and fear. He and Beth butted heads many times over animal treatment and when Hershel got involved Cole was forced to back down but he took every chance possible to undermine her authority. Beth had tried to constructively suggest that Cole take a job somewhere else in the compound but Cole wouldn't have it. She was stuck with this situation.

She led Gypsy to her pen and turned the mare loose so she could enjoy the cool evening breeze. The flies had been terrible today and the stock were enjoying a respite from the buzzing and biting. Beth gave the barn aisle one last inspection then headed for the small apartment that she and Drew shared. She could see the warm glow of lights shining through the windows and she could smell the dinner that Drew was cooking. She smiled and hopped lightly up the stairs and into their place. "Hey," she called as she took off her boots. She hopped into the kitchen where Drew was stirring a pot on the stove. She hugged him from behind and he laughed. "Hey you," he replied. "Good timing, dinner's ready. We even have cobbler thanks to some dried peaches that came into town." Beth hummed in anticipation. "Cobbler and fresh milk, it sounds too good to be true!" Beth had been thrilled to find dairy cattle here and was enthusiastically continuing her daily milk habit.

She and Drew shared easy conversation as they ate. He had found work farming and spent a lot of his days planting, weeding and planning out plots. They were fortunate that Decatur had an excellent civil planning group who had come up with barricade designs that allowed the walls to expand with the compound. This had allowed them to encompass twenty acres of prime farmland that was beginning to produce staple crops. The physical labor had further honed Drew's lean body and given him a great tan that offset his straight white teeth and dancing brown eyes. He had a wispy black beard and his thick jet black hair curled around his neck. The women of the compound stared appreciatively when he walked by but he rarely noticed them. He was head over heels in love with Beth Greene.

Beth and Drew cleaned up the dishes then spent the evening picking out songs on the guitar and working on lyrics. He embraced her as they cleaned up for bed and she came to him willingly. Drew kissed her tenderly and they made love in the bedroom. He touched her gently as if she were made of glass and he murmured endearments to her. "I love you so much Beth, you're so beautiful. I can't live without you." When they were done he spooned her and held her close, kissing her shoulders and stroking her hair. Several months ago Beth had decided to go off of birth control and she told Drew that if she got pregnant she would marry him. Drew had been ecstatic and when Beth told her family of their plan she knew she was doing the right thing. Drew was a kind sensitive man who would be a devoted husband and father. Life had to go on.

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Merle was on an eighth of a tank of gas when he drove into the gates of Decatur. He turned off the vehicle in response to shouted orders and placed his guns and arm blade on the ground. He patiently braced his arms against the hood of the truck and went through the security procedures of frisking and questioning. His name was Merle Dixon. Yes he was alone. No he wasn't from around here, he was from Sweetwater. His purpose here was trade, maybe to find work. He knew about Decatur from the postman in Sweetwater who had a horse-dog pair. Yes he would be willing to surrender his weapons for entry. He had skills as a mechanic and as a marksman.

An hour later he was cleared for entry. He was allowed the metal cuff that he wore on his bad arm and was told he would get the blade back in time when he could be trusted. For now he'd have a room in the high security apartments where his whereabouts could be monitored. As the inspection of his vehicle and inventory of his weapons and trade items was completed a Mexican man approached the guards on horseback. Merle nodded at him briefly. "Lookin' for the Greene family, used ta be part a my group back in Georgia. I wanna tell 'em bout the rest of the group." Miguel smiled at him. "I was just going back to the barn, Miss Beth and Mr. Hershel are there now. I will take you." Merle looked at the security folk who nodded their assent, then he ground his teeth and followed Miguel to the barn on foot.

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Gypsy had been straining since three AM. By six AM her flanks shook with the strain and her hindquarters were soaked with sweat and amniotic fluid. Beth had been working for hours following Hershel's instructions for trying to turn the foal around. She knew her daddy was frustrated that he couldn't get in there and do it himself but it was impossible with half of his leg missing. Gypsy finally sunk into the straw exhausted and Hershel instructed Cole to help pull the mare diagonally in the stall so she had plenty of space. Beth could get her hands inside to feel the foal's rump blocking the birth canal. In one hand she had a looped piece of thin rope that she was trying to push past the rump to get around the foal's bottom jaw. This would give her the leverage she needed to turn the foal's body but every time Gypsy had a contraction Beth's wrist and forearm were ground against the mare's hipbone. Beth's arm had stopped hurting about an hour ago and was now numb which greatly complicated her efforts in getting the rope around.

Beth pulled her arm out and rested her forehead against the mare's hind end to catch her breath. She had gone to bed dehydrated last night and hadn't had breakfast this morning. Now it was almost lunchtime and she felt dizzy and weak. Gypsy groaned loudly and strained and Beth sternly reprimanded herself. _Quit worrying about yourself and relieve this animal's suffering Beth._ She took a deep breath and looked up at Hershel who nodded encouragingly from his seat on an upturned bucket. She smiled and waited for the contraction to be over then slipped her arm in. After what seemed like forever she felt the foal's muzzle and with her cramping numb fingers was able to fasten the slipknot on its jaw.

"Good Bethy now push its hind end and pull the rope," counseled Hershel at her side. Beth grunted in pain as she maneuvered the foal. "Is it still alive?" asked Hershel. Beth shook her head as she grunted with effort and pain. "I can't tell," she panted. She raised herself on her knees and before Gypsy's next contraction was able to get the foal turned. "I think I got it!" she said. Just then Gypsy heaved and a small brown nose emerged. Hershel ordered, "Help her out now," and Beth applied gentle traction. With the next contraction the foal emerged and Beth pulled it into her lap and removed the remains of the placenta. "It's not breathing," she panicked, looking at Hershel. Hershel gathered a handful of straw and showed Beth how to scrub the foal's chest and sides down with it to stimulate breathing while he cleared the fluid from the foal's nostrils. After a few tense moments the foal snorted and its body twitched. Gypsy grunted and struggled to her feet wearily then turned around to investigate the source of the snort.

Beth was crying and laughing at the same time and Hershel hugged her. "Your first official complicated delivery Beth, you should be proud!" Both of them ignored the sarcastic snort from Cole who stood outside of the stall looking on disdainfully. Gypsy began to lick the foal in Beth's lap and Beth took the opportunity to inspect it. "A filly!" she said. "Another female for breeding! And she's beautiful!" The filly was brown with white socks and a perfect white star on her forehead. "Starlight," whispered Beth to the foal. She reached up to stroke Gypsy's nose as the mare dutifully nuzzled her baby. "Oh Gypsy you did so good!"

Beth looked down at herself and laughed. She had grabbed yesterday's dirty clothes in her haste to get to the barn in the early morning hours so she had started out dirty today. Now her clothes were covered in horse sweat, amniotic fluid, blood and feces. She drew her hand across her face wearily, knowing that she was streaking all kinds of stuff across it. And her hair….what had she done about that? She vaguely remembered that right before Gypsy had gone down she tried to tie it back with baling twine but half of it was hanging in her face now. Her dad was standing and watching mare and foal with an appraising eye. "We'll set her up with some grain and make sure she's lactating, then we trust nature Beth."

Beth nodded and watched Gypsy interact with the foal for a few minutes more. The mare was sniffing her foal curiously and poking her with her nose to encourage her to stand. She heard a horse walking down the concrete aisle and knew Miguel must be back. She saw Hershel turn toward the sound but didn't notice that he stopped short. Beth called out happily, "Miguel, it's a filly! She's perfect and Gypsy is OK! Come see how beautiful Starlight is!" She jumped up to her feet and absentmindedly brushed off the front of her jeans. "Hey!" she said glancing at him. Miguel whistled appreciatively, "That Gypsy did good! And you got that baby turned around, you the next vet Miss Beth," he said with a smile. They watched transfixed as the foal tottered to her feet. Miguel looked at Hershel who was staring over his shoulder. "Oh yes I almost forget. Someone here to see you, he's from your Georgia group." Beth dragged her eyes away from the foal in surprise to look at Miguel and saw someone in the shadow behind him. "Who is it?" she asked excitedly.

The figure moved out of the shadows and Beth felt the air rush out of her lungs as her eyes met the intense blue gaze of a dirty and worn Merle Dixon. His eyes raked her incredulously and she felt naked as the day she was born. Her mouth opened and she saw her daddy reach back and say her name but by the time he touched her she was already pitching forward unconscious into the straw.

**OK, what do you think?!**


	9. Chapter 9 - Awakening

**I've been wrestling with this so I've split it up into multiple chapters. God bless all those who are sticking with me despite the delays, real life has been pretty challenging lately.**

**Awakening**

Beth's eyes opened slowly and she blinked to see Hershel looking down at her. "Bethany," he said softly. She looked around in confusion. It was daylight and she was in bed. She frowned and thought back to the long night she had with Gypsy. "Is Gypsy OK? Starlight?" she whispered. Hershel smiled and said, "Yes, they're right as rain. Starlight's nursing and already has Miguel taking orders." Beth smiled and shut her eyes remembering the wide smile on Miguel's face when he Starlight for the first time. But why were she and her Daddy here and not out in the barns working? Something else had happened…..a penetrating stare came at her out of the dark. "Merle!" she gasped, sitting up. Hershel gazed at her guardedly. "Yes, Merle," he confirmed. Her eyes darted around the room. "Is he here?" she asked. Hershel nodded slowly. "He's been shown to his own apartment yes. He's in the compound."

"He's alive," she murmured, unconsciously rubbing the pendant around her neck. Hershel watched a litany of emotions play across Beth's face. "I thought it best he see you when you're feeling better," he said. Beth glanced up at him. "I fainted," she said and Hershel nodded. Beth swallowed. "I didn't eat or drink anything, I was feeling dizzy when I was helping Gypsy." Hershel looked down at his hands. "Beth are you pregnant?" he asked. Beth thought back and shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I lost track. I hope no…." Beth caught herself, ashamed for what she almost said. Hershel picked up her hand. "Maggie has gone to get a test," he said. "And Drew is in the front room worried sick about you." Just then there was a soft knock at the door and Maggie entered. After she hugged Beth she handed her the test. "I'll keep my fingers crossed," said Maggie with a wide grin. Beth smiled and berated herself. _A baby is a blessed event in this world not something to be dreaded. You are just scared of the unknown, get in there and face the future you are building with a good man._

Beth walked to the bathroom and did her business. Three minutes later she observed the single line on the stick. It was negative. She hung her head and cried for more reasons than she could keep track of.

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Merle paced in his apartment. It was basically two rooms - a kitchenette with a couch and a bedroom with a small bath. The twin size bed wasn't as comfortable as his king size at home but in this day and age any bed was a good bed. It had only taken him about ten minutes to unpack the twenty pounds of dried peaches that Carol wanted him to trade for children's supplies and the beef jerky Daryl had sent to see if there was a market for it. Merle set them close to the door so he could grab them on his way out on market day, which he was told occurred on Tuesdays. His personal items consisted of a few changes of clothes, toiletries and a well-thumbed copy of _Watership Down_. Finally he brought out the piece of paper he had removed from the notebook in Beth's room in Zion. It was written in blue pen in Beth's loopy teenaged handwriting and was well worn and smeary from being carried in his front pocket. He had never showed it to anyone.

The following was angrily crossed out with wide strokes but was still legible:

Zach

Zach Cooper

Zachary Cooper

Mrs. Zachary Cooper

Mrs. Beth Cooper

Zachary and Beth Cooper

I'm trying Daddy

The second half of the page was neatly written:

Beth Greene

Bethany Greene

Beth Dixon

Bethany Josephine Dixon

Merle and Bethany Dixon

Merle Sr., Beth, Merle Jr. and Alaina Dixon

Merle I miss you so much

He unconsciously tucked the note back into his front pocket as he recalled the events of the day. His heart had stopped with a shudder when he saw her sitting in the straw cleaning the foal. Her face was streaked with muck and her hair was tangled and she beamed with excitement. She had been indescribably beautiful. When she stood up and met his eyes he was rendered speechless. The tornado of emotions that played across her face seared into his heart and he leaped when her knees buckled but the beaner had gotten to her first and Hershel asked the sour faced older man to get Merle set up in his apartment. As Miguel carried a pale Beth out of the barn Hershel put rested his hand on Merle's shoulder. "Glad to see you're safe Merle. You can understand that this has been quite a shock for her." Merle nodded and Hershel turned to leave. "We'll all catch up together when she's recovered. Until now why don't you get settled?"

Merle remembered that he had turned to find the man named Cole coolly appraising him. Each man knew that he they didn't like the other's vibe one bit.

TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD TWDTWDTWD

"Merle Dixon of all people!" hissed Maggie to Glenn as they walked from Beth and Drew's place towards Merle's apartment. Glenn rubbed her arm and said, "At least we'll find out about the rest of the group." Maggie humphed and said, "This is going to be trouble."

They retrieved Merle and escorted him to Hershel's place. Because of his love of books and medicine Hershel had been given living quarters that contained a modest library with a spacious living area. He maintained historical, science and medical literature for the community in his friendly space. It's where all their family meetings were held. Beth was seated on a couch and Drew was perched on the armrest next to her when Maggie and Glenn came in. Behind them sauntered Merle. His eyes flicked around the room and he nodded at Hershel, saying his name in a brief greeting before his eyes rested on Beth. "Merle," said Beth, her voice rushing out of her. She stood up to greet him and stopped herself abruptly as she realized she was about to hug him. "It's good to see you," she said, maintaining her space. Merle had cleaned up and was wearing fresh clothes, and she noted that these clothes were in much better shape than his clothes at the prison. _He must have someone who takes care of him_, she thought.

"Hey lil' girl," he said softly. His eyes darted to Drew and Beth smiled a bit nervously then cleared her throat. Drew smiled pleasantly. "Hi, Drew Richardson," he said smoothly as he stood to shake Merle's hand. "Beth's fiancée. I'm in agricultural planning here." Merle nodded curtly, noting that Drew used his left to shake so that Merle wouldn't have to move awkwardly. There was a stilted silence and Hershel announced that he was going to settle in his favorite recliner. "Merle please have a seat. We've got a lot of catching up to do then we'll have dinner. Ross Penson gave me a fresh turkey for the occasion and Drew got us some new potatoes."

The tension in the room eased as Merle told them about Michonne and the Grimes family surviving outside of the prison, the birth of May and the decision to travel to Sweetwater while Rick searched for the rest of the group. "But why did you leave them to come up up here?" interrupted Maggie. Merle looked at Maggie's pregnant belly then at Glenn who was holding a sleepy Livvy. Then he looked at Beth who was looking down into her lap. "Needed to know y'all was OK," he said. Beth raised her head and met his eyes, the cold blue of his drowning in the bottomless depths of hers. "Safe," he said softly. He held her gaze until she pursed her lips and switched her gaze to the coffee table.

He told them about finding their abandoned house in Zion and settling in Sweetwater, the securing the farm and the birth of T. At this he pulled a digital camera out of his bag and for the first time that day he grinned and chuckled deep in his chest. "Sis wouldn't let me outta the house without this, she been takin' pictures a everythin' so you can see. The card's half full, she told me to fill the rest with pictures of y'all or don't come back." Not knowing who to give it to he placed it on the coffee table. Maggie and Beth both went for it at the same time, each yelling that they were first. Hershel admonished, "Girls, share!" and Beth pulled the camera out of Maggie's hands and moved to the other end of the couch to be near Hershel. Glenn and Maggie stood behind the chair as she advanced through the pictures, leaving Merle and Drew in stilted silence on the other side of the room. Soon Beth and Maggie were squealing in delight.

"Oh my God, look at that angry baby, all he needs is a crossbow! He's Theodore Hershel, Daddy!"

"Carol's so beautiful! She looks so happy!"

"Daryl's beard is more gray! And he's smiling!"

"Rick and Michonne are perfect! I wonder if they have a baby now!"

"Look at May! Oh Beth, look at May Andrea! Andrea would be so happy!"

"That garage has everything, Merle!"

"Fruit trees everywhere Daddy! And look at that bull!"

They went backwards until they found more pictures of the Grimes family. Beth's hands went to her mouth when they turned to a picture of Carl holding Judith. Beth's heart wrenched and suddenly she choked. "Oh Judith! Oh my Judith! Daddy, I miss her so much!" What started as laughter turned into tears. "Oh I miss her so much, my baby girl," sobbed Beth, her hands now over her face. Glenn reached over to pat her back and Hershel announced, "It's been a long day for everyone and I smell turkey. Beth, you collect yourself and Maggie and Drew help me get the table set. We'll celebrate the welfare of our extended family in fellowship, prayer and food. Wash up Merle!"

Merle's eyes flickered over Beth nervously, he wanted to push the fucking coffee table out of the way and pull her into his arms. He tensed and the muscles of his upper body and neck bunched as he stood halfway up then he swallowed hard as he watched Drew move to her and bend his head to talk softly in Beth's ear. Merle slowly rose to full height and turned to see Glenn staring at him uneasily. Merle's eyes dropped his eyes and went to the bathroom to wash up. He looked at himself in the mirror. _She ain't yern no more. Ya came to make sure she's safe and she is. Aint gonna want some washed up ole redneck anyhow. Get in there and finish this._

During dinner the Greene family relayed their story between mouthfuls. Merle had seconds on everything he was offered and stayed quiet. When he wasn't answering questions he watched Beth and Drew interact. Drew doted on Beth, smoothing her hair and asking her if she felt OK and she smiled at him often. It was obvious that they shared a close relationship and were very close in age. When Drew wasn't doting on Beth he was smiling pleasantly at everyone, Merle included, and it was clear that he was well liked. When dinner was over Merle stood and he noticed that he had caught Beth's attention. "Thanks for the hospitality," said Merle. "Been a long day." He assured them that he could find his way back and moved to the door. He turned around when Beth called his name. She had jumped up and she walked hesitantly forward. "Church is tomorrow at 10 o'clock," she said. "Will you come?" Merle snorted softly and shook his head. "Still ain't much a churchgoer," he said. She bit her lip and pressed on. "I'm singing," she said. "I'd like it if you were there." Merle exhaled, he hadn't realized he had been holding his breath. He nodded to her and slipped out of the door.

Later that night Maggie and Glenn got Livvy to bed and washed up. Glenn glanced at Maggie, her eyebrows were drawn into a thinking frown. "I think he's changed," Glenn ventured hesitantly. "He didn't even try to pull Drew's arms through his nose. And he only only said fuck a few times." Maggie shook her head sharply and muttered "Wolf in sheep's clothing," under her breath. Glenn let the matter drop.

Drew and Beth readied for bed in silence. "You want him there tomorrow," he commented as he took great interest in folding his pants. Beth shrugged. "He is a friend Drew," she said nonchalantly. Drew put his folded pants on the dresser. He stared at the wall for a moment. "He was more than a friend," he said. Beth shrugged with one shoulder and said with finality, "Now he's a family friend and it's right to include him. It's been a long day and I'm going to bed."

**Sorry no smut, I promise it will come! Please read and review, reviews keep me going!**


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